Little had a hard time falling asleep last night and I am embarrassed by how long it took me to realize that it was because she was excited about going home. She woke up at 4 AM but I made her go back to sleep but at 5:30 it was all hands on deck to pack and get her out of there. We were discharged around 10 AM but didn’t actually leave the hospital until 11:00. We drove away and I could see her physically relax. She was asleep before we got to the north side of the city.
While she slept I reflected on our time in lock down *wink*. She was very focused during our stay; very intense. I mentioned it to the nurses more than once because i chalked it up to her big heart and it’s effect on her energy level BUT looking back I now wonder how much of the intensity was her coping with the stressful factors at play: away from home, away from family, being poked and prodded, talk about her heart, tubes and needles… no wonder she collapsed and slept as soon as she was confident she was on her way home.
And since we have been here it has been business as usual with somany bursts of news and showers of affection for her siblings. “Bubba, look at the hole in my arm from where they had my IV.” “KB, look at the coloring book my teacher sent to me while I was in the hospital.” “I have a big heart but yours is still small.” “I love you and I missed you SO MUCH!”
Funny how her anxiety dissipated the further we got from Childrens and mine intensified every minute post being discharged. Right now she is in bed. She is coughing and I am sitting on the couch full on tension from head to toe. My energy is all going toward fighting “what-ifs” and to recalling Truth.
What is your favorite “go-to” encouragement? Would you mind leaving it in the comments so that I can have a ready-made list when I find the worry becoming too intense to recall on my own?
Thanks! And keep praying.
thebluehutch.com 
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope. – Romans 15:13
Prince’s 18-minute live version of Purple Rain from Atlanta in 1985.
Goober.
Reach out to Jesus
Philippians 4:6-7. Sifting through my anxiety and figuring out what I really want, then asking God for it, feels like doing 100 burpees to me. Daunting, painful, unpleasant….but somewhere in the process I (duh) find things that cause some thanksgiving. Then comes my favorite part…..peace. God HAS to give it, the kind that goes beyond all comprehension(best kind) and it serves as protection for a while. Mind and heart guarded at same time? Um, yes, please. Also Proverbs 18:10.
It is what it is. (7th grade coach ended there, but I add “and God is still on the throne”)
Isaiah 30:21 “Weather you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘This is the way, walk ye in it.’”
Sweet Becky, I have turned to this verse many times in my life when faced with a large decision or questioning which way I was going. God will be faithful to show you how to handle Little’s medical decisions. You are not alone. Our God goes before us and sets our feet on high places. I love you and am praying!!!!!
He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? – Romans 8:32
Becky, your STL family has been praying. Isaiah 41:10. So thankful Litttle is home! Thankful she is in your very capable hands. I first thank God that she is His, then thank Him that she is a part of your amazing family, then plead wirh Him for all things scary, then ask Him for guidance for you and that His will be done. Love to all, Linda
Becky, in addition to the wonderful truths in God’s Word, such as Isaiah 40:28-31 and Romans 15:13, I have found listening and singing truths help keep my mine where it should be focused on Him. (The Battle Belongs to the Lord, Ah Lord God, Give Thanks, Great is Thy Faithfulness,How Great Thou Art). So many wonderful old hymns and also new songs. So thankful you have recognized the red “ifs” flag and know where to turn. Your precious family is a testimony of God’s grace. Thanking God along with you that Little is home! May God pour out His richest blessings on you all. (An old hymn I just discovered which you may know is “We Rest in Thee”, which contains wonderful truths also:)
Praying for your family and Little. My go to is Col 1:17, “ …He is before all things and in Him all things hold together.” May you feel His strength holding you together in these days ahead!
“Grace for today” Or in some cases “Grace for the moment”. God gives me the grace I need when I need it. What if’’s haven’t happened yet and I don’t have the grace I need to deal with them. At any given moment I will have all I need and will have access to the Father. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow for today has enough trouble of its own.” I take the “today” as this very moment and the word “tomorrow” as any moment in the future. I also like an article about borrowing hard things when they are not ours. I will see if I can tag you in it. Prayers for you all.
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Ps. 94: 18-19 “When I thought, “My foot slips,” your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
Psalm 34:18 – The Lord is close to the broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
Psalm 62: 5 – Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him.
Psalm 42:11 – Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
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From Jesus Calling: I am leading you, step by step, through you life. Hold my hand In trusting dependence, letting Me guide you through this day. Your future looks uncertain and feels flimsy – even precarious. That is how it should be. Secret things belong to the Lord, and future things are secret things.
Whenever you find yourself worrying about the future, repent and return to Me. I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.
Deut 29:29a. Psalm 32:8.
Sing or recite Great is Thy Faithfulness! My most favorite line ….morning by morning new mercies I see. Every morning, in the parking lot of the hospital where GA was, I would recite that line pleading with the Father to show me a new mercy that day in regards to her health and growth. Intentionally look for just one new mercy! You’ll be amazed at how many He’ll reveal to you!
Ps 18 He is our Rock & Refuge!
Dear ones:
There are indeed times for vexation and perhaps some intensity. I think of Hannah in I Samuel 1 who struggled through the pain of her life and yes, GOD heard. He answered but the intensity seemed real and prolonged at times. I think that you are normal, B. Y’all are human. And, the new humanity in Christ in the midst of fear, pain, and uncertainty looks just like you – reaching out, holding on, looking up, and perhaps waiting at the door of the Temple until someone walks up and says to you: “Are you drunk?” No, sir just intensely frayed at the moment.
My long-winded point is – give yourself a break and don’t shy away from the intensity … lean into it. Wait.
–tom s.
Sweet Becky, I have been praying for you all. Here are a few of the verses and thoughts that helped me when I first found I was facing cancer and not knowing much of anything and was very anxious. Is. 41:10. Fear not for I am with you, be. It dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you. I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. That, coupled with all th “fear not’s” in Is. 43, reminded me that when Jesus tells us to not be afraid it is more than just a good idea or a nice thought but a command. It required a minute by minute discipline of my mind, sometimes by the second! That is hard! Do not be afraid, trust Me. Then hang onto all the promises, there are so many! God is so good. How amazing that we have a God who can tell us not to be afraid and then deliver on that by providing His strength and peace and presence! Singing helped a lot too!
Habakkuk 3:17-19 New International Version (NIV)
17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
19 The Sovereign Lord is my strength;
he makes my feet like the feet of a deer,
he enables me to tread on the heights.
Psalm 121
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.
Becky, From a mother who has walked in your shoes and spent countless nights in the hospital with my son know that God does have a plan. If you ever need to talk please don’t hesitate to call. Jennifer
Thank you, Jennifer. Such kindness. .. thank you.
As I’m catching up and reading this, the word “breathe” comes to my mind. It was last year’s word for me and to me it reminded me that as I take a deep breath in, I let God fill me up with His goodness. Whatever is needed for that moment. And every intentional breath I knew God was with me. He’s in control. And I know you know this but I felt I needed to share! 😊💜