Tim Hawkins returned for a Promise Christian Academy fundraiser.  He is one funny man and, while he did a lot of the same bits as last year, I laughed so hard I thought I would cry.  My mom came for the weekend just so she could go with us and my dear friend, Regan, went too.  Hearing these two women laugh just added to the fun.

Little was, of course, part of the entertainment again this year.  Not a nervous bone in her body, she got all dressed up and hurried us right out the door.In the middle point of the evening Tim took a break and the Promise kids took the stage.  They sang “He’s got the Whole World in His Hands” and I cried the entire time.  One of the daddy’s shared how Promise has affected their son and family as a whole and I cried some more.  No one can be exposed to this crowd and not be affected.

Soccer season ended this week so it is fitting that I would finally write about this major part of our fall. This has been a fun season with great weather, lots of friends on our teams (so this social mamma loves sitting at games),and the kids had fun playing. Granted, nothing else has gotten done on Saturdays, but sweet memories have been made and skills have been learned.

This was Bubba’s second year playing and,with one game to go, his team has a perfect record. . .they haven’t won a game. I can honestly say it isn’t his fault. . .he didn’t spend a lot of time on the field. He didn’t seem to mind, though, and makes comments that let me know that he carries the responsibility of “team” and feels a part.

This was KB’s first year playing and, as biased as I am, I think she really did a great job. KB has drive and loves to be active so she has really gotten after it over the season.
Her coach is a bit intense and 1.5 hour practices for Kindergarteners was a bit much. KB has said that she doesn’t ever want to play again because there is so much running and practice. Thankfully, she has found a place as goalie and likes being there. It provides enough of a balance to the game for her so she enjoys really running when she is playing offense and can stand still but alert as goalie.

I’m glad it’s over in that I feel like the time to live life just doubled, but I will miss sitting in the sun, chatting with friends, and watching my children play.  What activity is your child involved in and how do feel about the time commitment?

Today I find myself sitting on the floor in the waiting room of Community Psychological Service at the University of Missouri in St. Louis (or, as Little calls it, “the USML”) It is the second time in a week that I find myself here. . .the first time on the floor. I came with Little last week; Bubba is the subject today. I brought a laptop with me last Wednesday and struggled to use it propped in my lap while sitting in a chair just tall enough to keep me “on my toes” quite literally. Five hours of that struggle convinced me that there had to be another way. I couldn’t get a laptop today so it’s just me and the iPad. I decided there is no shame in sitting on one of the four empty bean bags and using an empty child-size bench as my desk. I’m four hours in and I am getting so much done.

What are we doing here? Well, it has been a long time since we stirred the developmental delay pot and it was time to do a bit of re-grouping so that plans can be made for the next stages of life. Little is in fourth grade and has been at Promise for three years. While personalized education can’t change ones IQ, I am eager to see what has shifted. It has NOT been fun to fill out all the paperwork necessary. So many standardized evaluative tests that brought back to mind so many things God has graciously kept from constant focus. It is good to remember where she is weak so that we can consider how to help her be the best version of herself – the version God intended. If I am honest, I have relaxed too much because I trust the folks at Promise so much. Hopefully this is a first step toward getting back on the proverbial horse and parenting my baby girl in partnership with her teachers, not in reliance ON her teachers. No more excuses.

Bubba is going through the “same but different” testing today. I believe we need some “up-to-date” stats on the boy. His autism diagnosis was handed out when he was two and he is such a different boy now. I believe there are other things at play and really want an honest read on what those things might be and what resources are out there to help him succeed in life. My hands are open and I wait to see what The Lord has planned for our young man, ASD or no ASD. He is a trooper. . .he thinks all the tests are fun and can’t believe everyone doesn’t get joy from building three dimensional structures that are replicas of those found on the paper.

Part of me misses this. . .being exposed to tired public servants who help families with needy kids. I miss being used to encourage them and the perspective I gain from time in their midst. This morning I found myself answering one of Dr. Green’s questions in a surprising way (for her and me). She was asking about Bubba as a child and I heard myself telling her, “The Lord gave us just what we didn’t know we needed. Little needed so much attention and care, and Bubba was content to sit at a doctor’s office and quietly line up cars for an hour straight; it wasn’t typical and it wasn’t what we wanted, but I can look back and see He was caring for us. Bubba doesn’t do it anymore and hasn’t since he could read. It was just for a season.”

Her reaction is what I miss; she didn’t know what to say but I could watch her face transition from panic to calm as she realized I wasn’t planning to preach to her and was being real with her about what I believe. And then for The Lord to give her 10 hours with my special children. . .I know she will be affected. She has to be because they are such evidence of God’s goodness, graciousness, and love. What a joy!! I miss seeing God use my children’s weaknesses to showcase His strength. It is well-worth six hours at “the USML” on a soccer ball bean bag.

And next week when we are back to get Little’s results I will probably cry as we review how He knit her and He will have to give more grace, just as He promised. Prayerfully my trust in my Savior will shine through my tears and Dr. Green will want to know more about the God we follow. You can pray and I will let you know how it goes.