We used to give my daddy a hard time about his penchant for drama. He was a super story-teller and even the simplest of events could turn into dramatic tales. Truth is, my daddy lived a dramatic life and was exposed to dramatic things consistently. I think that his walking with the Lord through amazing things made it easier for him to see the amazing, and potential for amazing, in what I might have called simple items. As I think back, rarely did he wax eloquent about himself; his drama centered more around what God was doing or had done.

My family’s teasing has made me very aware of the stories I tell and very sensitive toward stirring up drama. It has made me a bit gun-shy about sharing the events of our life because, if I’m honest, we happen to live a life that tends toward the dramatic. Whether it’s the effects of Autism on our son’s choices at school, KB’s growing to realize she is the “youngest, but also the oldest” child, or Little’s recent enlarged heart . . . there’s drama. I think there is a challenge here about my walk with the Lord and having spiritual eyes like my daddy; I still don’t always see the amazing or potential for amazing.

The past 24 hours have been dramatic. Little was asleep by 8:00 PM last night and I turned in at 10:30. I was awakened at 3:30 AM by our nurse and a shower of questions about Little’s heart rate during the past visit to the hospital. It seems that for the past two hours the nurse had been watching Little’s rate dip to very low and then shoot up to very high and then spend time dancing all around in between. Within minutes I saw what she was talking about and I have to admit, I finally cried. My mind went to all kinds of places as they wheeled in the EKG machine and got to work.  I just sat there praying and wondering until the doctor came in and said there wasn’t anything to worry about – this chamber and that chamber are working together and that’s good … but they don’t know why it’s jumping around and she’s called another doctor to consult, but there’s no reason to panic. I knew I wasn’t going to go back to sleep and so I decided to shower. There I contemplated what amazing thing the Lord might be up to and considered the other feeling I was experiencing… nausea.

I was able to go back to sleep once I was clean. The new nurse came on duty at 7:00 AM and I woke up to introduce myself AND apologize to her for the onslaught of my norovirus that she was about to be privy to. She gave me a barf bag and a short pep talk about how I could go home knowing that she’s “got this” (pointing at Little). I nodded and called Jeremy; together we came up with a plan that he worked it quite nicely. I ended up sleeping the day away in a room of a poorly located but satisfactorily clean hotel and Jeremy stayed with Lily. Our friend picked the kids up from school and made sure they got fed and to youth group; Jeremy left in time to pick them up afterward.

I only threw up once … the prayers of the teeth brushers availeth much.

So, I’ve decided to take a minute and to relive this day with my daddy’s eyes and see if I can look past the drama to the amazing.

• They were going to send us home today but are doing a more thorough look at the electrical workings of Little’s big heart. It may take time to know the full extent of amazing on this one.
• They will now be sending us home with oxygen and a plan for a sleep study since Little has an obvious track record of not being able to breathe well while she is sleeping. I thought it was odd they sent us home without it last week, but the Lord gave them a “do-over” and used norovirus to get our girl the oxygen she needs. His care for her is amazing.
• My friend, Nancy, has been out-of-town for two weeks and just got back. The personality God gave her and stage of life she is in made it “easy” for her to jump in and help today. I’ve been so concerned for the siblings and time at Mrs. Nancy’s is a treat. Her return and availability at “such a time as this” is not lost on me. . . it’s amazing.
• I was sitting on the bed/couch this morning and trying to find a hotel with an empty room they would let me have immediately.  I was having a hard time sitting up because it made me want to throw up and I said to myself, “I would love for someone to just do this for me. . . I wish Jeremy was here.” A friend from Colorado Springs texted that minute and asked for an update.  I told her what was up. . . Little needing new tests means not going home, I am sick and was just looking for a hotel to go hold up in with an immediate check-in availability. She texted back a moment later to tell me that she had a place in my price range that was waiting on me to arrive. She did that for me. There should be an entire blog post about the hotel and my time there but the truth is her love for me and servant-hearted response was just plain amazing.
• We have a friend who recently returned from the mission field. She wrote yesterday and asked about the family and then told me she was going to do something very in line with the culture where she had worked. She asked me to just let her do this cultural thing and that was it.  Then she sent money. I told her I would accept her cultural gift and let her know how God used it as a provision for us. Well, it paid for the hotel room today that was a real life saver for me. Her generosity — His provision — amazing.
• While I was gone, Little got moved into a private room so that if I were still sick I could puke in the privacy of our own potty. It’s the same room we were in last week. It’s great. I’m just not sick anymore. AMAZING.
• My friend wrote tonight to tell me that the whole church had prayed for me. Amazing.

On one hand, today has been just another day at the hospital – another day in this journey. On the other hand, the God of the universe saw fit today to protect our daughter, show love to me, and provide for our family … again. Maybe I should adjust my view? And maybe we shouldn’t have given daddy such a hard time.

So, here I sit in our local hospital waiting on the ambulance to transport Little back down to Children’s. This will be our second ambulance ride in as many weeks and I find myself dreaming of winning the lottery just so I can buy our county another emergency vehicle.

Little is sleeping and has been for four+ hours, save the brief moments where she wakes up long enough to be sick. That’s why we’re here. She was having abdominal pain and threw up and the discharge papers said, “Call this number if she blah, blah, blah, complains of abdominal pain, blah, or throws up.” She did so I did. They wanted us to drive all the way to Children’s right away but Little just wouldn’t stop throwing up and so they sent us here. While the amount of time we have spent here may feel ridiculous, she has received needed/timely care.

(Side note: Just learned that they can only have one ambulance out of the city at a time! They are contracted to have a certain number in city limits at all times and the kiddo in the room beside us left around 10:30. That kiddo needed a helicopter but the winds are too strong and no copters are flying tonight.)

Our Little doesn’t need a helicopter. Turns out all tests came back showing her heart looks exactly the same as last week. BUT with all her body is losing, they are worried about her dehydrating. Because of the trouble her heart is having pumping fluids, the use of an IV is tricky and has to be closely monitored and so we are being transferred to where they monitor hearts best; “Number 7 in the nation” best.

I’ll keep blogging and asking folks to pray. There’s nothing like knowing people are joining together to cover those you love. This time I ask that people pray for our son: there is so much going on with that kiddo too right now and I am very aware how little mamma he is getting at the moment. There’s prayer for KB: it is spirit week and she has a huge presentation and no mamma there to help her dress. (So many costumes.) And for my Honey – patience, perseverance, and a 6th sense…the mamma sense. Then there’s Little’s healing and my feeling overwhelmed. What if everyone just prayed for a Kicklighter every time they brushed their teeth?

Little had a hard time falling asleep last night and I am embarrassed by how long it took me to realize that it was because she was excited about going home. She woke up at 4 AM but I made her go back to sleep but at 5:30 it was all hands on deck to pack and get her out of there. We were discharged around 10 AM but didn’t actually leave the hospital until 11:00. We drove away and I could see her physically relax. She was asleep before we got to the north side of the city.

While she slept I reflected on our time in lock down *wink*. She was very focused during our stay; very intense.  I mentioned it to the nurses more than once because i chalked it up to her big heart and it’s effect on her energy level BUT looking back I now wonder how much of the intensity was her coping with the stressful factors at play: away from home, away from family, being poked and prodded, talk about her heart, tubes and needles… no wonder she collapsed and slept as soon as she was confident she was on her way home.

And since we have been here it has been business as usual with somany bursts of news and showers of affection for her siblings. “Bubba, look at the hole in my arm from where they had my IV.”  “KB, look at the coloring book my teacher sent to me while I was in the hospital.” “I have a big heart but yours is still small.” “I love you and I missed you SO MUCH!”

Funny how her anxiety dissipated the further we got from Childrens  and mine intensified every minute post being discharged. Right now she is in bed. She is coughing and I am sitting on the couch full on tension from head to toe. My energy is all going toward fighting “what-ifs” and to recalling Truth.

What is your favorite “go-to” encouragement? Would you mind leaving it in the comments so that I can have a ready-made list when I find the worry becoming too intense to recall on my own?

Thanks! And keep praying.