It is only 8:45 AM and I am ready to move to Australia.

I was awakened at 4:30 AM by my oldest saying, “I’ll be gentle with your head, momma. I’ll be gentle with your head and you can put in the pass code.” She is referring to the fact that a few days ago she woke me up at 4:00 AM by dropping her father’s iPad on my face and saying, “Put in the pass code, Momma, Please.” ARGH. I don’t remember putting in the pass code today but I do remember saying, ” NO YOUTUBE, Little. You may watch Too Cute.” Terrible start to the day.

I must have fallen right back to sleep because I was jerked into consciousness again by the sounds of the other two SWINGING FROM Bubba’s LOFT BED and making a home video about it on the phone they stole from my room while I slept. Horrible way to wake up. Horrible response from me to them. Horrible start to the day.

Almost every word that came out of the mouths of my babes this morning were words of arguing and complaining. “She has my minion hat!” “Gimme my gloves. Those are MY gloves.” “Maybe you should look twice when you put our lunches in our lunch boxes because I repeatedly get KB’s orange instead of apple sauce.” (I’ll let you guess who that was.) No good things were said.

There were 3-4 inches of snow on the ground when we left for school. They don’t treat the roads up here IN COLORADO WHERE IT SNOWS FOR MONTHS AT A TIME so I was driving slow and defensively. I got to the major intersection up the road where I am to turn right to proceed to the land of learning and as I slowly merge right into the turn lane my back tires start to slide – I believe it was the perfect example of fish-tailing – toward a beautiful Lexus stopped at the light. I start praying/screaming “please don’t hit that car! Please don’t hit that car!” and I didn’t. I didn’t hit the car – my back bumper nudged his back bumper. We pulled into a parking lot and it turns out my NEIGHBOR was the owner of the LEXUS and we traded names, numbers, invitations for brunch (not) and went on our merry ways. He was VERY nice . . . VERY gracious . . . VERY nervous about how his wife would respond. It was a very bad way to start the day.

So now I sit in my house. I shoveled the driveway and as I finished the snow started pouring down again. I was supposed to go to BSF but it started 15 minutes ago and I still haven’t showered.

I looked on the weather channel and it says it should be in the mid 80’s in Brisbane with sunny skies. I think Alexander had the right idea. Anybody know a good travel agent?