Good Morning, Dear Void

So many thoughts go whirling through my head and so few are getting expressed; it’s a verbal processor’s nightmare. Most of them are meaningless and I don’t really want contributions, fixes, or answers . . . I just want to send these thoughts out into the void. So, good morning, dear void, here I am.

The day is going to be a doozy. We awoke to 60 degree temps and it has already started falling. It should be 34 by the time the kids get home from school and below 20 when we head for bed. “They” are saying the snow won’t start until tomorrow but the clouds coming over the Front Range seem to say something different entirely. This Southern girl feels a bit nervous . . . firsts always make me nervous . . . even though I have lived through quite a bit of snow and cold the last couple winters in St. Louis.IMG_0056

I’m meeting a personal trainer at 12:00 p.m. today.  Daniel.  In his picture he looks 15 and there was a day (when I was 15) that this would have been thrilling, BUT for this 40+ year old recovering mother of three it is NOT as exciting. One of Honey’s health benefits from work is a gym membership for the family and I am NOT going to lie. . . I am thrilled. For the next couple months. . . until I have to go back to work . . .I am going to be THAT mom. You know the one. . .she drops her kids off and heads to the gym.  I refuse to walk my kids into school in lycra, but I have my playlist all set on my iPhone 6 and Daniel is going to set me up.  I am having emotional flashbacks to my days in Rome, GA and it honestly fires me up to think about doing weights and working a treadmill. If this is a mid-life crises then I’ll take it.

I bought six kitchen chairs yesterday and I am so excited. I have been looking on Craigslist since July and found them Saturday night around eleven. I have plans to paint the kitchen table and have already dumped two chairs for the option of a RED bench. Along with looking on CL I have been shopping online just praying for miracle prices or a real reason that it’s okay to spend $400+ on chairs. Six chairs 1/4 the price of four chairs online. DEEP SIGH. I may not have made friends yet but I’ve got chairs, I tell you. The Lord’s goodness and timing. . . who am I to question.

The little church we have been visiting celebrated ten years yesterday and we stayed for the “hot dog bar” lunch. It was a good thing. So funny. . .the choices for lunch were hot dogs or vegan chili. Of course the Kicks ate hot dogs. The church is a reformed Anglican church and it has been a real switch for me. Every week I leave with a new assurance from the Lord that he knows our family and our needs and He has a plan for us that just might include Christ our Hope Anglican Church. (Every time I say it I am a bit thankful that my Daddy is with Jesus. I feel like such a traitor.) KB loves the liturgy and I find that fascinating. She asked me today if I know the Lord’s Prayer by heart and could I teach it to her. Little has already made a name for herself and most folks don’t seem to scared of her. Bubba is wearing his feelings and thoughts close to his sleeve on this one and so I am not sure of his true response. He participates – I can say that much. They keep letting him dip his communion bread into the alcoholic wine chalice (I mean, seriously, doesn’t that sentence sound like something you would NEVER have expected to hear me say?) and maybe that plays into his thoughts on it all. Hmm. We have KB draw pictures during the service . . . I usually say of the sermon but I think her daddy must have used the phrase “draw what’s going on” and she drew this. . .IMG_0075

2+ years of having someone clean my house in St. Louis really spoiled me. After two weeks here Bubba said, “Mom you are going to HAVE to hire a housekeeper soon.” He was shocked when I said, “You are looking at her, Bubs.” Three months later he still thinks I should hire someone. Everyone’s a critic.

Little hasn’t been sleeping again. I don’t know what has triggered it . . . she has grown at least an inch so maybe all that change is affecting her ability to sleep as well. Her brain is either off or on so maybe she’s just off.  Anyone readying this who might want to pray. . . it would be greatly appreciated.

Alright . . . this brain dump has got to stop. Albertsons is giving away a free turkey if you spend a certain amount in their store and I have groceries to buy. That turkey will be mine, I tell you!!!IMG_0086

Enjoy your Monday. Leave a comment and dump a bit of your own thoughts if you would like. “The odd thing about this form of communication is that you’re more likely to talk about nothing than something. But I just want to say that all this nothing has meant more to me than so many somethings.” I’m happy to be your void if you need me to be!!

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1 Response to Good Morning, Dear Void

  1. Julia says:

    Friend, you are in my prayers for sure. That picture of KB’s makes me think you will be closer the Catholics sooner than you think! Next thing Bubba wil be asking if you are “up on the cup?” for communion. I know you are not big into Saints but I am and your message into the void reminds me of St. Monica. I know of a statue of her and her hands are straight-up palms to the sky. I always saw it as her “giving it up to God” everything she thought she could handle. Monica had a hard time with all of her children either they died young or they were lost to her because she pushed them away. Her son took the long way around in life and after many years he finally did convert to Christianity and she was there to see. I hope that you can give it up to God!
    Peace my friend.


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