There used to be a restaurant in town called KC Masterpiece. It’s out of business and has been for some time, but I must say that KB is IN BUSINESS.
I call this KB’s Masterpiece:
Oh yeah – they let her. Oh yeah – I was out of the room for mere moments. (insert lunatic scream and hands waving overhead here.)
thebluehutch.com 
It's so nice to see someone else having to deal with this sort of thing. Thank you!
I hope those aren't marks made by a SHARPIE!
Washable, I hope . . .