Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday – isn’t that horrible? Traditionally it is such a food holiday and, while I love turkey, I have a “take it or leave it” feeling about the rest. My kids don’t enjoy the parade, so we don’t typically watch. We haven’t been near family in so long, that aspect of the day is a bust. Except for the true emphasis of the day (giving thanks for God’s provisions) I am a party pooper. I am thankful Charles Dickens didn’t write a novel about it all or I would constantly be compared to Auntie Scrooge.

Our family has done our best to adapt and make the day work for us. In St. Louis we had found our precious diner and made that our traditional haunt. Last year we added a Disney film to the mix. It’s been nice but this year we have found ourselves in a new town and at a crossroads of sorts – a time to regroup and reconsider the direction our family Thanksgivings are going. We thought. We talked. We decided to spend another year doing the same stuff.

Finding a cute place to eat was a challenge.  Living in a small college town doesn’t afford for many options. The campus has cleared off and all the families in the small family town are breaking bread together in their small homes. We ended up making reservations at a place called C.B. & Potts – it ended up being high on the bar and short on the family dining area, but they put us down and away and it ended up being nice. Honey got a HUGE and typical Thanksgiving dinner

I had a turkey sandwich and the kids were able to have their nuggets/grilled cheese/mac-n-cheese.

Everybody shared three things they are thankful for and we tried to be a blessing to our precious waitress who was working on a holiday.

We headed out to see Big Hero 6. In St. Louis we had to “fight” for a seat but yesterday we had a room to choose from.

I spent two hours on the phone with my mom and then we had creme brulee french toast for dinner. It was AWESOME. Seriously, I want to got make it again now. You should try it – 15 min. of prep before bed and into the oven when you wake.  It was pretty and yummy.

So, we had a good day. We took the traditional yearly photo, cleaned up all the fall decorations to make room for Christmas’ arrival today, and had a snuggle party before bedtime. That will be my favorite memory of the day; that and talking to my niece and nephew in their car.

I hope your day was all you hoped it would be. I hope it was full of people you love (whether in person, on the phone, or over Facetime), food you enjoy, and snuggles. Everybody needs snuggles.

I can say, without hesitation, that this has been the hardest year of my life. It’s been the kind of year that makes me wonder if I will even do a Christmas card; you know, “if you can’t say anything nice. . . ”

Still, I hear my mother’s voice in my head saying that when you are hurting or struggling it is good to turn your eyes outward and soon you find yourself filled with joy and no time to sulk. (That is a very rough paraphrase – she is way more eloquent and sassy.) With this thought in mind, I am glad for Thanksgiving’s arrival and the forced opportunity to turn my eyes upward and be reminded of the things my God has done/provided this year.  I am recording them here for my own good but I won’t complain if  you are encouraged as well.

1. I am thankful for a husband who loves me.
2. I am thankful that Jeremy lost his job in January.
3. I am thankful I had the privilege of working at The Kirk for 14 months.
4. I am thankful my children got to attend KDS and Promise while we were in St. Louis.
5. I am thankful the Lord worked in my heart to love St. Louis – now I know He can do that here as well.
6. I am thankful that the Lord has always given me deep friendships – now I find it easier to trust Him to do that again here as well.
7. I am thankful the Lord gave my husband a job he is excited about.
8. I am thankful that our new home allows us to see my brother more often than before.
9. I am thankful that Heaven is real.
10. I am thankful for a daddy that loved me so well that I miss him this much.
11. I am thankful for Bruce Stallings.
12.  I am thankful for a home church that loves my mom so much that I don’t worry if she is cared for.
13. I am thankful for how much I miss my sister.
14. I am thankful that my 7 year old wants to snuggle with me.
15. I am thankful my son understands repentance and takes his sin seriously.
16. I am thankful that my son loves to play games.
17. I am thankful that Little’s voice sounds the way it does and for the effect it has on people no matter their walk of life.
18. I am thankful for Mr. Mo and his recovery.
19.  I am thankful for Pastor Reeder and the stand he takes for Truth.
20. I am thankful for Stephanie Hubach and Joel Wallace and the encouragement they provide for families with special ones.
21. I am thankful for Variety The Children’s Charity of St. Louis and the blessing they were for years to our family.
22. I am thankful I am still getting to create for the Kirk even though we have moved away.
23. I am thankful for our blue hutch – it makes me so happy.
24. I am thankful for our garage.
25. I am thankful for Pinterest.
26. I am thankful for Facebook.
27. I am thankful for Cherry Limeade and Diet Dr. Pepper.
28. I am thankful for a surprise gift card that came in the mail before we moved.
29. I am thankful for a new church and the potential for a new family.
30. I am thankful for the small group I am in at BSF here and the interactions had there.
31. I am thankful for the sidewalks and bike lanes in Fort Collins.
32. I am thankful for the view of the mountains I see each morning as I drop the kids off at school.
33. I am thankful for friends and family who came to visit so quickly after we got here and the love it communicated in such a hard transition.
34. I am thankful for two cars that run.

I am going to stop there. 20+14 = 34 so that should do it. I think I could go on a bit more but I keep tearing up and that is making my eyes tired.

I hope that you have a lovely Thanksgiving Day and that your heart is overcome by all the good things God has done for you. He died so you could live!! He paid the price for your sin . . . a price so high you could never pay it! If you are surrendered to Him you are FREE INDEED – what more could you ask for? Absolutely anything else is a . . . cherry limeade on the top and weak in comparison. So weak. . .

Thank YOU for taking a minute to read here. Would you be willing to leave  a comment with one thing you are thankful for this year?

Last night one of my great fears was realized.

Our Little was born in February of 2004 and before her first birthday we had her diagnosis. During the four months we waited to have the MRI I admit I came up with a gazillion ideas of what could be wrong. As soon as we had the MRI results my mind began the now decade long pendulum swing between “she may never” and “we’ll show you”. Through it all, one fear has been ever-present . . . people are going to pick on her and take advantage of her.

It wasn’t a crazy concern.  While she was still very young we sat and watched little boys at a church dinner imitate and mock her crossed eyes. Adults have always thought Little is precious but kids have questions and don’t understand her differences.  Very few folks feel comfortable asking us for an explanation and so they don’t have answers to give their children and can’t raise them up in the way they should go when it comes to relating to children who are different. I have always been anxious about the day when everyone hit the age of meanness.

Apparently, we are there.

For the past week, Little has begged me every morning to let her stay home from school; there have been tears. This is completely out of the ordinary. I sent a note to her case manager and asked her to keep an eye out to see if anything was going on. I reminded Little that she had new friends at school and she loved being with them. She informed me that her friends didn’t love her any more.  What??!!??

I got a call from Little’s teacher last night and she wanted to talk with me about a birthday invitation Little had received. She said there had been some “mean girl” activity at school but she had been handling it “in-house”. Now that this party was looming in the future, she felt I needed to know details so I could make an informed decision about Little attending – it’s a drop-off party and she was concerned and felt strongly that this girl “didn’t deserve Little as a friend.” Hmm.

Turns out the girl having the party has been “curious” about Little (whatever) and behaving badly as a result of this “curiosity”. The behavior included trying to get Little’s report card and show it to all the kids a couple of weeks ago. Another student stepped in and put an end to it. On another occasion, and this upsets me more than the first, this girl was telling Little ugly words to say and trying to get her to go around to specific classmates and say these words. Again, another student stepped in and put an end to the behavior. I would like to say that I will need some time before I ever meet the little birthday girl and pray I will have an opportunity to thank the student who stood up for our daughter.

I hung up with the teacher and just sobbed. It’s not so much that kids know Little’s “grades” – who really cares? And it isn’t that Little said things I would prefer her not say. It’s that the kid had her talking about sex and that gets to the heart of my fears. This world is a broken and ugly place and children grow up knowing/doing/excusing all kinds of garbage because our world says they should and can. As a parent it is my job to train my children to interact with this world while discerning how to live differently from the world. I am at a total loss for how to do this with a child who has limited ability to discern.

The Truth is that God is in His heaven and He loves my daughter more than I do – I must trust Him with her. It is easier to say than do. Realistically, parents say that about their children no matter their abilities but then the parents turn around and do all they can to equip their children to live rightly. We trust — we train. What does one do when the training is inhibited?

I’m hitting my knees, people. That’s right. I’m going to hit “publish” and I am going to go lay this before our Father. When you finish reading it would you do the same? Would you ask Him to build a hedge around our Little and protect her from the evil of this world? Would you ask Him to use her as a light in the darkness and a witness of His grace? Would you join with us in praying for miraculous measures of discernment for our little girl? And ask for wisdom for Honey and me. . . we are so very clueless when it comes to walking this road the Lord has laid out for us. We need Him every hour.